Out for some casual century hopping, time traveler Ralph Dockwell encountered a familiar face while gallivanting through London, 1778.

Hanging out at a pub discussing the recent dissent in the colonies was none other than period-piece actor extraordinaire Orlando Bloom, who in no way seemed out of place in a past historical era. Given the unlikely circumstances, Dockwell did not shy away from approaching him.

“Normally, I wouldn’t bother a movie star in public, but I figured that nobody else at the bar had seen Kingdom of Heaven,” said Dockwell who’s been time traveling since the 90s. “Then again, nobody in present time has either.”

In talking to the actor with a predilection toward subpar costume epics, Dockwell discovered the reason for Bloom’s extreme lack of production in recent years

“I initially went back to research a new role, but I got caught up in the whole American War of Independence, and jeez, I guess I lost track of time,” Bloom, who has been moonlighting as a barrister, confided in Dockwell. “This wig is really itchy.”

Dockwell, who has spent years perfecting his time machine and claims to know every registered time traveler, was most intrigued as to how Bloom defied time and space.

“He said he’s been at it since the dawn of man,” recalled Dockwell. “At first I thought that was an embellishment, but I think that was his way of saying he’s actually one of the first human beings to ever grace the earth…and that he invented a time machine soon after.”

Bloom later mentioned that his time traveling machine had broken down, but had no intentions of fixing it anytime soon.

“I didn’t even think to offer him a ride home,” said Dockwell after returning to the present. “His being there just felt so natural that it didn’t even cross my mind.”

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