“There are no other fans left for him to talk to about this,” said the fan’s wife. “I’m starting to think he’s just putting the phone up to his ear but not actually dialing anyone.”

“The public needs to know that we’re not just catering to straight white 30-somethings,” said Adam Stotsky of NBC’s marketing department. “As our ratings show, straight white 30-somethings don’t like TV. Blacks and gays love it.” Full Story

“I’m sorry on behalf of NBC for The Single Guy,” Ben Silverman stated. “I’m also sorry to Ernest Borgnine. I don’t think he knew what he was signing on for.” Full Story

“We just needed someone to come in and draw circles on the telestrator,” said NBC Sports Chairman Dick Ebersol. “That, and occasionally exclaim ‘BOOM’ and ‘WHAP’ while eating turducken.” Full Story

None of the Sci-Fi employees know if he works at the network or where his parents are. They just know that the 9-year-old with a rat-tail terrorizes them every chance he gets. Full Story

The Meatball Hero, often confused with Meatball Subs and Hoagies, is traditionally served in Italian delis and eateries across the country. Its foray into saving cheerleaders will be a new challenge for the beloved sandwich. Click Here For Full Story

In an embarrassing display of television programming, the major networks abandoned their normal schedule to televise the exact same thing. The result was the frustration of millions of viewers who wanted to watch something other than Election Night. Click Here For Full Story